How to Talk to Children About Dementia: 5 Tips for Compassionate Conversations
If you’re an adult with young children who finds themself simultaneously caring for your aging parents, you’re not alone.
According to the respected Pew Research Center, more than half of adults in their 40s have children under the age of 18 and parents over the age of 65.
Colloquially known as the “sandwich generation,” this demographic encompasses adults who manage the needs of older and younger generations of loved ones. Sometimes, this role involves explaining dementia to children.
Children may struggle to understand what it means if an older adult they love develops dementia. How can you discuss such a complex and emotional subject with children in ways they’ll comprehend?
As a recipient of the Gold Seal Award by the Governor’s Panel on Excellence in Long-Term Care and a recognized industry leader for the past 42 years, MorseLife is passionate about providing the highest quality care for those with dementia. We’re also invested in empowering their loved ones with the guidance and resources they need.
We’re here to support you with tips to promote compassionate conversations with children about dementia.
Tips for explaining dementia to children
1. Honesty is the best policy
As it progresses, the signs of dementia can be hard to hide or explain away to the children in your life. Chances are, you’ve actively taught them the importance of honesty. Now’s your chance to demonstrate it. Be upfront and share information using words and descriptions they’ll understand.
- Explain that your loved one has trouble with their memory and sometimes your child may notice it.
- Emphasize that your loved one is still the same person, and that they love your child very much.
- If your child is old enough, you can provide more information about the condition as you see fit, including that it’s progressive.
It may also help to educate yourself about dementia, so you feel confident explaining it to your child. The UK-based Alzheimer’s Society has some helpful tips and ideas for understanding dementia and explaining it to young people.
2. Accentuate the positive
Every cloud has a silver lining. You can help your child find the positives in this challenging news, even as you process and grieve together.
- Maybe they’ll get to spend more time together now, maybe they can help grandma with chores or visit her in her new senior living apartment.
- Help them connect with the joyful memories they have and encourage them to soak up the present moment with your loved one.
- Take new photos and videos and share old ones as you reminisce together.
Savor the time you spend together. Changes are a part of life and something we can’t control, but you have the power to find peace and joy in prioritizing and treasuring moments of togetherness.
3. Love doesn’t change
It’s important your child knows that, no matter what, they’re still loved. Dementia can’t change that. People with dementia continue to light up when they see their loved ones, even if they can’t always recall their names.
Encourage children to show and share their love with your family member with dementia. This may include cuddling, looking at photos, or reading a book together.
Dementia affects memory, but it can’t change love. Reassure your child that this will always remain.
Discover when it’s the right time for Memory Care in our helpful blog.
4. Plan some fun
Encourage your child to think of ways they’d like to enjoy time with your loved one with dementia. You can guide them toward activities your loved one can also enjoy and participate in, and away from those that might be too complex.
- Shared baking, scrapbooking, crafts, reading, games, and gardening are fun activities that can be enjoyed by children and adults with dementia.
- Music is also a powerful tool to use with individuals with dementia. Because music is stored diffusely throughout the brain, many people with dementia continue to have access to the feelings and memories it unlocks, even as their condition progresses. Encourage your child to play or make music with your loved one for an enjoyable shared bonding experience. This can be as simple as rhythm sticks, sitting down at a piano, or listening to a beloved song from when they were young.
Helping your child plan preferred activities can encourage them to look forward to spending time together. This is a great way to make new memories your child can cherish.
5. Be a trusted resource
Your child deserves the facts about dementia, and this is also an opportunity to show them you’ll support them and answer any questions that arise. Kids notice things and are very perceptive. Let your child know that they can ask you any questions they may have about dementia.
There are also several children’s books that help explain dementia in ways kids can understand. Here’s a curated list of several options. This can be another strategy to help your child process and learn about this condition. Shared reading time is also very beneficial for children’s development of social and language skills.
Share that dementia means changes, but these changes don’t happen all at once. Emphasize that your loved one is still there, though they may not remember things like they once did.
Lead with compassion and clarity to help your child process this news. Together, you can navigate this journey with love and support.
Consider MorseLife Assisted Living or Memory Care
MorseLife Health System is honored to support and empower families like yours to proactively approach cognitive change.
Our West Palm Beach senior living community includes exceptional Assisted Living and Memory Care community options, designed to support the daily needs of those with dementia.
We elevate our offerings with exceptional programming, backed by science and fueled by compassion and unmatched care.
In our warm, welcoming residences, highly trained caregivers provide round-the-clock personalized support and respectful assistance to our valued residents. Families are welcome to visit and participate, and we even invite you to join us to share a delicious meal or a fun activity with your loved one.
Learn more about MorseLife’s approach to compassionate, personalized Memory Care.
MorseLife can help empower and uplift your family as you navigate life with dementia. We’re here for you.
Download our Memory Care Guide to learn more and reach out to us anytime for personalized support.
